Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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