Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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