Don't you send me to vm
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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