Duck Duck Cougar?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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