never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Hippo gnu deer
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
