your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
