we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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