The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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