i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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