I showed him my bush... on skype.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
