I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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