I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
