I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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