Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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