How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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