Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
