GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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