my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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