matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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