apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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