and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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