okay pat passed out under dana's car
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
