dude i'm inner monologue high
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
