I love black thongs
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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