Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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