ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
