$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
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