I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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