why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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