Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
