Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
