fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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