Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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