if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
