bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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