she was so not down for the gang bang
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
