He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
ttyl tear gas
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
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