feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Mom said you looked used
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I am available for nakedness
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
