I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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