Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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