Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
