your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Randomize
