She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
