i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
