in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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