The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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