Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
