She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
