I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just pynch a tree in the face
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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