dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
