Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
