Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Dick very happy bro
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
