Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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