dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
