I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
